Your Wedding is YOUR wedding. Keep Outside Influence to a Minimum

I try to contribute to some of the bridal requests on Facebook. You might have seen them. If you follow Confetti’s page or if you use their forum, then you’ll definitely have seen them. It seems there are a lot of brides in need of cold showers, a slap around the face and a whiskey help and advice. 

I’ve never had to plan a wedding, but I’ve been around enough people who have to know that things can get a little crazy. The small things that wouldn’t have phased a person six months ago suddenly become a life or death dilemma. 

And have you ever tried to tell a bride to calm down? Probably not if you’re reading this. One common theme that I’ve noticed in these requests is that there appears to be a great confusion as to whose wedding it actually is. Instead of being able to enjoy the build up to the big day, brides are being barraged by demands from friends and family.

So, I thought I'd write a quick post to remind everyone planning a wedding that it’s YOUR wedding. 

It isn’t your mother’s or your sister’s or your great-aunt Maud’s big day: it’s your's (and your partner’s, obviously).  Family and friends are allowed opinions and they can even make suggestions, but they don’t get to tell you:

-      What the dress has to look like

-      Where the wedding has to be

-      Who the bridesmaids are

-      Who is on the guest list

-      Who is sitting where and next to whom

Seriously, I don’t know why people feel the need to stick their beaks into wedding planning. I sometimes think it’s jealousy: a need to make something about them when it isn't. Of course, there'll always a generation clash. What would have been unthinkable forty years ago is now encouraged or acceptable. Traditions that would have been shoehorned into every ceremony can now easily be scrapped, and I get that friends and family want to give their advice and opinion, but it isn't their day to do so. 

Sure, they can give it but it doesn't mean you have to pay any notice to it.

The bridal requests are filled with people annoyed, upset and confused by the constant and unwelcome input of friends and family.

“You have to have your sister as a bridesmaid”

“What do you mean there will be no children at the wedding? Freddie will be fine. Freddie is 4 years old and he’s coming or I won’t.”

“If he goes, then I’m not going”

“If she’s not invited, then I’m not coming”

“Of course, you’re inviting my second cousins”

“I have to bring a plus one.”


No, no, no, no, NO to all of the above. There's too much else to do to be worrying about the demands of everyone else. 
Invite who you want, have the bridesmaids you want and tell whoever it is that’s sticking their nose in to *ahem* wind their neck in.

It’s YOUR day, not theirs.